[ Drums Beating ]
[ Birds Screeching ]
[ Speaking Native Language ]
[ Speaking Native Language, Men Shouting In Unison ]
[ Thunder Crashing ]
[ Speaking Native Language, Men Shouting In Unison ]
[ Thunder Crashes ]
Hmm.
[ Snores ]
Dad.
[ Screams ]
[ Gasping ]
You Don't Understand Me.
You Never Have!
I'm Sorry, Honey I Was Just A Bit Startled.
[ Laughing ]
[ Sighs ] What's So Funny?
You Daughter Almost Gave Me A Heart Attack.
[ Laughing ] It's Just -- It's Just...
It's Just What?
"Aaaaah!"
[ Laughing ]
[ Yawns ]
It's Very Funny.
What 16-Year-Old Girl Gets Excited About A Bug?
Let's Not Forget, Those Bugs Can Be A Remedy For Her.
They Can Give Her Focus.
Sometimes She Seems So Normal.
And Then Other Times She's Just A Space Cadet.
She Can Sometimes Seem A Little Odd With Her Condition,
Especially Towards Her Evil Stepmom.
[ Laughs ]
Okay.
Let's See If This Evil Stepmom Can Go Straighten Things Out.
I'm Sorry About Your Bug.
But You Better Be Sorry About This Room.
Yeah. Whatever.
Oh, For Christ's Sake.
You're Not My Mother!
Go Back To Where You Came From, And Take Your Broom With You!
You Little Bitch.
What's Going On Here? Some Of Us Have To Go To Work.
Your Wife Is Being Rude.
How Many Times Have I Told You Not To Call Her My Wife?
Look, I Don't Know What Happened Here.
All I Know Is Jill Came In To Apologize To You.
Yeah. Whatever.
[ Sighs ]
Listen.
Can You Try To Get Along With Jill For My Sake?
Just...You Never Listen To My Side.
You Never Take My Side, And You Never Listen To Me.
Hey. That's A Pretty Cool Bug.
It's A Namibian Elephant Beetle.
Hmm. Well, It's Pretty Unusual.
Anyway, Do Me A Favor.
What Now?
Could You Please Put Away Some Of These Clothes
Before You Go To School?
[ Mid-Tempo Hip-Hop Plays ]
[ Grunting ]
[ Music Continues ]
♪ Feelin' Right, Feelin' Right Tonight ♪
[ Exhales Deeply ]
215, Huh? That's The Best You Can Do?
Basketball Players Are A Lot Bigger These Days.
Those Scouts, They're Looking For Guys That Can Do 270, 275.
♪ Tell Them, Tell Them, Tell Them ♪
♪ Feelin' Right, Feelin' Right Tonight ♪
♪ You're Feelin' Right, You're Feelin' Right Tonight ♪
♪ Tell Them, Tell Them ♪
♪ You're Feelin' Right, Feelin' Right ♪
[ Dog Barking In Distance ]
Let Me Guess.
You Need A Ride To School Again.
[ Papers Shuffling ]
You Know, You Could Probably Organize These A Little Better.
There You Go.
All Right.
Got Everything?
Come On.
[ Door Closes ]
What Is That?
[ Engine Turns Over ]
It's Just My Little Baby Namibian Elephant Beetle.
You're So Weird.
I Know.
That's Why You Like Me.
[ Up-Tempo Rock Music Plays ]
♪ I Think That You're Insane ♪
♪ Pretending Nothing's Changed ♪
♪ Why Don't You See The Light? ♪
[ Indistinct Conversations ]
[ Engine Shuts Off, Music Stops ]
[ Birds Chirping ]
Sorry. Excuse Me.
[ Sighs ]
[ Door Closes ]
Okay. So, I'll See You Later, Pete?
All Right, Teenisha.
Excuse Me. Sorry.
Loser.
Geek.
Nice Tupperware.
Dork.
Listen, Man, The Boys Asked Me To Talk To You, All Right?
Hold Up. Check It Out.
What Do You Think?
They're, Uh, Fine.
What Are You Talking About, Dude?
These Things Are Amazing.
Hey, Babe. Lookin' Fine Today.
Listen, I'm Trying To Talk You, Man, All Right?
You're Always Trying To Talk To Me, Dan, You Know?
I Know -- It's Not Cool That I Bring Teenisha To School.
Is Hillary Bugging You About This Again?
Yes!
Hillary -- Your Girlfriend.
You Really Don't Want To Piss Off The Hottest Girl In School.
My Girlfriend.
Hillary, My Girlfriend.
I'm In Charge.
That's Not What I Hear.
Look, Anyway, It's -- It's Not Just Her, All Right?
It's The Whole School.
Well, What Do You Want From Me, Dude?
For God's Sake, She's My Neighbor And Needed A Ride.
But She Always Needs A Ride.
What Do You Care? You're Not Paying For My Gas, Man.
People Are Talking. Don't You Care?!
Let Them Talk, All Right?
At Least We're Drumming Up Some Excitement,
'Cause God Knows That Our Basketball Team Is Not.
We're Getting Better.
We're 4-8.
We're At A Turning Point Right Now.
We're At A Turning Point With No Guards...
Hey.
Hey!
I'm A Guard.
That's My Shooting Arm.
So What?
What, Are You Gonna Miss One More Lay-Up?
What's That, 20 A Game?
[ Scoffs ]
Well, Maybe If I Had Guards Instead Of Girls,
I Could Make A Shot.
Want To Mess With Me?
Huh?
[ Spits ] Bring It On.
Bruce: Come On. Come On.
Hillary: And The Sun Is Hitting Me From This Really Good Angle,
So I Look Really Hot, And...
You Have To Learn To Say "Good Morning."
You Can't Let Her Ignore You Like That.
These Books Must Be Heavy.
Let Me Lower The Weight.
[ Laughter ]
Loser.
You Might Want To Respect Those Better Than You.
Ms. Harper: Most Of You Did Very Well On This Project.
But A Few -- I Mean A Real Few --
Handed In The Paper
Without The Least Concern For Its Appearance.
[ Laughter ]
This Is Unacceptable.
Loser.
[ Indistinct Conversations ]
It's Almost Ready.
Spoon.
Thank You.
You Are So Weird.
All Us Geniuses Are Weird, My Friend.
Ready?
Now.
[ Chuckles ]
[ Laughter ]
Who Did This?
[ Laughter ]
I Am So Gonna Find Out Who Did This.
[ Laughter ]
All Right.
It's Not So Bad.
[ Clattering ]
[ Laughter ]
Who's Laughing?
Who's Laughing?!
[ Clearing Throat ] Teenisha.
Dan: Teenisha.
Adam: Teenisha.
Teenisha.
You Think This Is Funny?
Uh, What?
Don't Play Miss Innocent With Me.
[ Bell Rings ]
You're Gonna Clean Up This Mess.
[ Indistinct Conversations ]
[ Marker Squeaking On Whiteboard ]
Um, Sorry About Missing Class Today.
What A Great Specimen You've Brought Me.
You Not Only Have An Elephant Beetle
But, It Appears, A Namibian Elephant Beetle.
Thanks.
Did You Hear What I Said? A Namibian Elephant Beetle.
You Have, Like -- Like Stuff All Over Your Face
And Your -- Your Hands.
Do You Want To Hear About This,
Or Am I Gonna Get A Grooming Lesson?
No. Please.
Well...
Its Size Is Extraordinary.
This Insect Is So Rare
That At One Point Scientists Thought It To Be Extinct.
However, It Has Recently Been Spotted
In Some Of The More Remote Areas Of Africa.
Tribes There Have A Great Respect
And A Great Fear Of This Insect.
Tribal People To This Day Tell Tales
That A Bite From A Namibian Elephant Beetle
Can Steal Your Soul.
Whoo-Oo-Oo.
Whoo-Oo.
No One Understands Me.
Yeah, I Understand You.
[ Sighs ]
You Know, You're, Like, The Only One That I Can Talk To
About Stuff Like This.
I Know What It's Like To Be An Outcast Like You.
You -- You Do?
I'm The Only One In This Faculty
That's Trying To Get You Kids To Understand Science
Through Action And Not A Textbook.
All I Get Is Criticism.
That's Not Right, 'Cause You're, Like, The Best Teacher Here.
They Look At Me As Some Sort Of Misfit,
And They Want To Stop Me.
We Must Stick Together.
So Then You'll Take My Elephant Beetle To The Lab Today?
I'm Sorry. I'm Just Running In There And Running Out.
Oh.
I Understand.
If You Want, Bring The Beetle To The Gym -- Say, 3:30.
I'm Supposed To Meet Someone There From The Lab.
That Would Be Great!
I'll See You Tomorrow, Mr. Zucker.
[ Bell Rings ]
[ Indistinct Conversations ]
Now, Who's The Boss?
What?
Hey, Babe.
[ Smooches ]
[ Scoffs ]
Dan Was Giving You Some Helpful Advice This Morning,
But You Chose To Ignore It.
She's My Neighbor, All Right?
And I'm Your Girlfriend.
I've Been Patient, But...Patience Has Its Limits.
Now I See You're Dropping Her Off After School, Too.
You Know That's Way Beneath You.
Her Stepmother Just Got A New Job.
It's Only Gonna Be A Week, And Then --
No, No, No.
Honey...
You Can Play With The Misfits...
...Or You Can Play With Me.
Which Will It Be?
I'll Take Care Of It.
Good.
So I'll See You After School Today At Rocco's.
Well, I Sort Of Got To Take Her Home This Afternoon.
You Disgust Me.
It'll Be The Last Time.
[ Birds Chirping ]
What Are You Looking For?
Teenisha: My Little Elephant Beetle.
Are You Crazy?
It Needed Some Fresh Air.
This Is The Last Time That I -- Teenisha, Get It Off Me.
Ow!
[ Gasps ] Did You Find It?
That Thing Just Bit Me!
Ahh.
Are You Okay?
I Don't Know. I Think It's Swelling.
Oh, Yeah. I'm Sorry About That.
Sorry About That?!
That Thing Just Bit My Hand! What Am I Gonna Do?!
I-It's Swelling!
Calm Down. You're Acting Like A Loser.
What Did You Just Call Me?
N-Nothing.
Did You Just Call Me A Loser?
Um...
Do You Have Any Idea
How Embarrassing It Is For Me To Be Seen With You,
Let Alone Take You Home From School?!
[ Inhales Sharply ]
I Don't Need Any Sympathy Rides.
Oh? Yeah? Get Out.
Get Out!
Weirdo.
Fine! My Pleasure!
Jerk-O!
My Sweater!
[ Tires Screech ]
♪ I Will Stick Around ♪
♪ Trippin' On Your Jacket, Love ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm Trippin' Now ♪
♪ I'm Trippin', Baby ♪
♪ Yes, I'm Trippin' On Your Jacket, Love ♪
♪ Oh, Yeah ♪
♪ You Can Bring Me Down ♪
♪ Trippin' On Your Jacket, Love ♪
♪ Oh, Oh, Oh ♪
♪ I'm Not Sayin' That It's All Your Fault ♪
What Happened To You?
You Had Your Father Going Nuts Trying To Find You.
I Had To Walk Home.
Is That Okay?
Why Didn't You Call?
I Could Have Picked You Up.
It's, Like, Really, Really Hard To Call
From The Middle Of Nowhere.
Pete Kicked Me Out Of His Car, Okay?
That Pete From Up The Block?
Yeah, That Tool From Up The Block.
Thank God You're All Right.
I'm Sorry.
What Happened?
So Pete Goes And He Drops Me Off In The Middle Of Nowhere.
Well, That's Horrible.
Why Did He Do That?
I Don't Know. He's Such A Jerk.
That's Weird.
Isn't He The Guy That Drops You Off At School
When You're Late?
Once In A While.
I Mean, So What? What's The Big Deal?
It's Not Like He's Not Going That Way Anyway.
What, Are You Crazy?
He Left Her In The Middle Of The Road.
Well, Did You Say Something?
It Doesn't Matter If She Said Something.
He Dropped Her Off On The Highway.
Did You Hear?
I'm Not Saying That He's Right.
I'm Just Wondering
Why He Would Jump Off The Deep End Like That.
You See? She Blames Me For Everything!
I Am Not Blaming You!
Well, It Sure Sounds That Way.
[ Whistle Blows ]
Hey, It's Your Girlfriend.
Hipkins: All Right, All Right!
Are You Guys Out Here To Chitchat,
Or Are You Out Here To Play Basketball?
All: [ Flatly ] Play Basketball.
I Didn't Hear You!
Play Basketball!
That's Better.
Now, As I'm Sure You Guys Already Know,
If We Can Pull Out A Win This Week,
We're In The Playoffs.
And If We're In The Playoffs,
There's Gonna Be Certain Scouts From Certain Universities
That Are Gonna Be Here To Check Out Certain Players.
Coach, Playing The Hawks This Week.
They've Crushed Us For The Past Three Years.
Well...I Didn't Say It Was Gonna Be Easy.
We Can Do It.
Good, Good. Good Attitude.
Because Of That... You Can Play Center This Game.
[ Players Murmuring, Chuckling ]
Yeah?
What Am I Gonna Do?
You're, Uh -- You're -- You're -- You're --
You're Gonna Play, Uh -- You're Gonna Play The -- The...
Guard?
The Guard Guy. The -- Yeah.
The Guard?
Right. Obviously, I Was Saying That, Okay?
All Right, All Right. Enough Talk.
Let's Get Some Action Going Here, Okay?
Uh, I Want You Guys To Practice Patterns
Down The Left And Right Side.
Okay? Let's -- Let's Get Going.
This Guy's Got A Smiley Face Of Sweat On His Shirt.
[ Laughter ]
What Did You Say?
I Said, Uh -- I Said,
"We Better Practice Hard So We Don't Get Hurt."
No, No. I Don't Think So.
You Know What?
You Can Give Me Five Laps Around The Field -- The -- The Court.
Now!
See You Later.
All Right. Now, The Rest Of You, Let's Go.
Come On. High Energy. Let's Get Going.
Uh, Come On!
Run!
Hey, Watch This.
[ Grunts ]
[ Clattering ]
[ Thunder Crashes ]
[ Echoing ] That Thing Just Bit My Hand!
Felix: That's A Pretty Cool Bug.
Jill: What 16-Year-Old Girl...
Hipkins: [ Echoing ] Come On, Come On.
Mr. Zucker: [ Echoing ] Steal Your Soul.
Are You Okay?
Yeah. Let's Play Some Basketball.
Hipkins: What Is Your Problem?
Adam: It Was An Accident.
Pete's Gonna Play Center.
Adam, You're Out.
What?
That's Right. You're Off The Team.
I'm Tired Of Your Wise-Ass Remarks.
What Do You Think, I'm Stupid? [ Sighs ]
[ Exhales Deeply ]
[ As Pete ] Oh!
Oh-Ho-Ho!
Ugh!
[ Gasps ] That's My Body!
[ As Teenisha ] That's My Body!
Calm, Calm. Bad Dream.
That's All. Bad, Bad, Bad Dream.
Okay. Slap Me.
What?
Just Slap Me.
Slap Me Across The Face, And I'll Wake Up.
Just If You Slap Me Across The Face, Then I'll Wake Up.
Oh!
God, I'm Still Here.
[ Sighs ]
What The Hell Happened, Huh?
What's Going On? How Did This Happen?
I Don't Know.
Something Hit Me, And Then The Beetle, And Then It Bit Me.
[ Whistle Blows ]
Oh, No.
Oh, God. Where Is She?
Shh!
All Right, All Right. Settle Down.
Okay. Just Act Like Me.
Act Like You?
What Do You Want Me To Do,
Leave You On The Side Of The Road Somewhere?
Okay, Okay. I Said I'm Sorry About That.
But You Really Went Over The Line With That "Loser" Remark!
What If I Don't Want To Act Like You?
I'm Gonna Release All Of Your Bugs When I Get To Your House!
You Wouldn't!
Try Me!
Fine, But You Owe Me Big-Time.
[ Indistinct Conversations ]
Hey, What Happened To Your Friend Pete Out There?
He Looked Like A Little Girl.
Yeah, What Happened To You Out There?
Um, I, Um...
Crap.
Damn It, Speak Normal.
You Sprained My --
Ow! Freakin' Nail.
[ Deep Voice ] I Sprained My -- Ow -- My Freakin' Nail.
Did You Just Say Your Fingernail?
Uh, My Finger.
I Sprained My Finger.
Oh, Don't Worry. You're In Luck.
My Sister Knows A Great Manicurist.
Push Him. It's Me. Remember?
Push Him?
Push Him!
Did You See What I Just Did?
[ Indistinct Conversations ]
They're Getting Naked.
You Got A Towel? I Need A Towel.
[ Indistinct Conversations ]
I Am Not Getting Naked!
Pete, Were You Just Talking To Someone?
Um...N-- Uh, Talking To Someone?
No.
Yeah, You Know Me.
I'm Real Excited About The Game, And, Uh...
[ Sneezes ]
It's, Uh, Breezy In Here.
Got The Sniffles. [ Sneezes ]
No, It -- It Definitely Just Came From That Locker.
No, It -- It's Not. This Locker Is Locked.
Really?
[ Lock Rattles ]
See? Locked. I Told You.
Hmm.
Hey.
Who's That?
Oh!
[ Moans ]
I-I-I'll Get Her. I'll Get Her.
I'll Get Her. I'll Get Her. I'll Get Her. Okay?
Did You See How Hard I Pushed Him?
You Know, You Are Really Weird.
That's Why You Like Me.
Come On.
Ow.
Hurry Up.
Ow. Ow.
Hurry Up!
What?
You Got To Hit Me, 'Cause These Guys Are Gonna Come Out --
Ow.
You Didn't Have To Hit Me So Hard.
And In The Jaw?
Real Frickin' Brilliant.
I'm Sorry.
Just Guess I Don't Know My New Strength.
[ Door Opens ]
[ Door Closes ]
[ Indistinct Conversations ]
[ Grunts ]
Aw, These Things Are A Pain In The Neck.
I Hear You Like Hanging Out In The Boys' Locker Room.
Hey, Babe.
[ Laughter ]
What?
Uh, You Know, Girlfriend -- F-Friend That's A Girl?
[ Laughter ]
Oh, That's Cute. I Think She Just Made My Day.
[ Chuckles ] Girlfriend?
What Are You, Crazy?
Do You Think I Would Be Caught Dead Hanging Out With You?
You Dropped Something.
Loser.
[ Laughter ]
[ Sighs ]
Getting You Nervous?
No. Um, Yeah -- No.
Uh, What Are You Doing Here?
I Figured You Deserved A Kiss For Taking Care Of Teenisha.
[ Sneezes ]
Sorry.
I, Uh, I Think I'm Coming Down With Someone-- Thing --
Coming Down With Something.
You Want To Share?
No. No. Ew.
Uh, I Mean, I Don't -- I Don't Want To Get You Sick.
[ Sneezes ]
You Could Cover Your Face.
And What's With Your Voice?
Oh. Uh...
[ Deep Voice ] It -- It Comes And Goes. You Know...
[ Coughs ]
Anyway, I, Um, I Was Just Thinking, M-Maybe --
Maybe We Should Really Rethink Our Relationship.
What?
What Are You Talking About?
It's That Freaky Girl, Isn't It?
You Caught Something From Her.
I Told You -- Her Geekiness Is Contagious.
I-I Was Just Thinking, You Know,
At This Juncture In Our Relationship,
That Maybe We Should -- I Don't Know --
Rethink Our Commitment.
M-Maybe We're Not Good For One Another -- One Another.
You'd Better Be Joking.
Think Real Hard About What You're Doing,
Because I Can Make You Fall Off The Popular Wagon
In A Blink Of An Eye.
Remember, I'm Hillary.
Sorry To Hear That.
And I Just Need, You Know, A Couple Days.
I'm Really Not Feeling Like Myself.
You Are Going To Regret This Real Soon, And So Is She!
[ Chuckles ]
[ Bell Rings ]
You'll Have To...
[ Car Alarm Chirps ]
You'll Have To Drive. [ Sighs ]
[ Car Alarm Chirps ]
[ Car Alarm Blares ]
Oh! Gross!
[ Car Door Slams ]
Teenisha: Okay. Now, Remember What I Told You.
Right Pedal, Gas. Left Pedal, Brake.
All Right.
One Foot.
Okay, Okay. No Problem At All.
This Is -- This Is Like Riding A Bike.
I've Never Seen You Ride A Bicycle.
Well, I'm Sure It's Not That Difficult.
[ Sighs ]
Now, Where Does This Go?
In The Ignition.
[ Chuckles ]
I Was Teasing. I Knew That.
All Right. Ready?
[ Bell Chiming ]
What's That?
Maybe There's Something Wrong With Your Car.
You Could Take It In And Get It Fixed Or Something.
[ Engine Turns Over ]
[ Chuckles ]
Okay.
Okay. Ready?
[ Click ]
Here It Goes.
[ Tires Screech ]
Sorry.
[ Mid-Tempo Music Playing ]
[ Tires Screech ]
[ Engine Revs ]
[ Tires Screech, Horn Honks ]
[ Screaming ]
What Are You? Crazy?
[ Horn Honking ]
What?
You Fix It!
Loser.
How About I Kick You?
You Know, I May Be In Your Body,
But I'll Still Kick Your Butt!
Shut Up.
What Is Wrong With You?!
[ Indistinct Shouting ]
Jill: Remember How You Said You'd Take Care Of That Peter
The Next Time You Saw Him?
Felix: Yeah?
[ Indistinct Shouting ]
I Think Your Daughter Has Taken Care Of That.
[ Chuckles ]
Well, Look At My Daughter.
You Go, Girl.
Hmm.
[ Chuckles ]
Got The Biggest Game Of My Life Tomorrow Night.
The Next Four Years Of My Life Are Riding On This One Game,
And I've Got One Little Problem.
A Girl Stole My Body.
And Not To Mention That My Girlfriend --
She Doesn't Like Guys That Aren't Anatomically Correct.
[ Backpack Thuds ]
What Do You Want Me To Do About It?
I'm The Weirdo, Remember?
Okay, Okay.
I Said That I'm Sorry About That Like 10 Times Already.
What Do You Want Me To Do, Huh?
Anyway, You're The One Who Called Me A Loser, Remember?
I Did Not!
Even If I Did, You Started It.
[ Chuckling ]
Dude, What's So Funny?
Nothing.
No. What?
Well...It's Just You're Not Very Pretty...
As A Girl.
[ Scoffs ] Dude, This Is Your Body.
Was My Body.
[ Dog Barking In Distance ]
Actually...
...It Really Isn't That Bad.
You're Just Saying That.
No, No, No. I'm Serious.
It Really Isn't That Bad.
I Mean, I Never Realized How... Cute You Can Be.
You Know?
Get Rid Of These, Like, Bifocals,
Maybe Dab On A Little Makeup...
And, Uh...I Could Be Hot.
Thanks.
You're Not So Bad Yourself.
You Know...
This...
This Just Might Work.
[ Sighs ] I Never Know What's Going On.
[ Exhales Sharply ]
But It Works In All The Fairy Tales.
Huh? What? What?
[ Sighs ] Nothing.
That Was A Little Weird.
I Just, Um -- I Just Kissed Myself.
Do You Think That's Gay?
Depends On How It Felt.
How Did It Feel?
Eh, Worry About That Later.
I Just -- I Thought That The Kiss Would Reverse The Curse.
That Only Turns Frogs To Princes.
All Right.
So, Are You Good With The Plan That We Talked About?
I Guess So.
Okay. Let's Break. [ Claps Hands ]
Teenisha: [ Burps ]
[ Licking Fingers ]
[ Chewing Noisily ]
[ Gulping ]
[ Slurping ]
[ Burps ]
[ Gulps ]
What?
Oh, You Seem To Have A Really Healthy Appetite.
[ Clears Throat ]
Well, You Know, This Is What I Crave.
Mm.
Oh...
It's Kind Of Late.
[ Clears Throat ]
Think I'm Gonna, Um -- Think I'm Gonna Head To My Room.
It's Only 8:30.
Whew. Past My Bedtime, You Know?
[ Slurps ]
It's That Way, Right?
Yeah.
She Even Drank The Chocolate Shake,
And She Hates Chocolate.
[ Sighs ] Maybe She's Just Extra Hungry.
Maybe She's Pregnant.
[ Slow Introduction Plays ]
♪ I May Not Know Who I Am, But I Know Who I'm Not ♪
♪ Life Is A Crazy Game Of Connect The Dots ♪
♪ I'm Number 33, And You're 32 ♪
Cool.
[ Mid-Tempo Hip-Hop Plays ]
♪ Yeah, Unh ♪
♪ Just Met A Girl ♪
♪ Could Not Get Over It ♪
♪ Just, Just, Just, I Just Met A Girl ♪
♪ This Moment's So Appropriate ♪
♪ Got Me Thinkin' ♪
♪ I Could Not Get Over It ♪
♪ I'm Just Lovin' The Type Of Fruit That Is Ripe ♪
♪ Walkin' Straight My Way, And She's Lookin' So Tight ♪
♪ I'm Sayin, "Hold Me And Cure Me From This Apathy" ♪
♪ She Keeps Me Dreamin' Beyond The Line Of Actuality ♪
♪ I See Her Comin', I Just Start Grinnin' ♪
♪ 'Cause All These Other Dudes Just Want To Get With It ♪
♪ I Move Through The Crowd With The Energy ♪
♪ Smooth, This Girl For Sure Is My Destiny ♪
♪ I Take Her With Me For Us To Be Free ♪
♪ So Just Dance With Us And Come Chill With Me ♪
[ Toilet Flushes ]
[ Indistinct Talking On Television ]
[ Sniffles ]
Young Girl: Lassie, It's You!
[ Dog Whimpering ]
I Love You, Lassie.
[ Knock On Door ]
It's Dad. Are You Busy?
[ Indistinct Talking On Television ]
N-No. Yeah. No.
Come On In, Dad.
[ Man Speaking Indistinctly On Television ]
What The Hell Is Going On Here?
Is Everything Okay?
Yeah, I'm -- Yeah. Why? What's Up?
I Don't Know.
You've Kind Of Been Acting Like...
Like What?
What The Hell Was That?
Oh. [ Chuckles ]
[ Deep Voice ] Nothing. I Was Kidding.
[ Chuckles ]
Were You Crying?
[ Sighs ]
No, I -- The Mets...
And The Way They've Been Playing, I...
The Mets?
They Have A 10-Game Winning Streak.
I'm So Proud Of Them.
They've Been Playing So Well, You Know...Our Mets.
Go, Mets.
What About This Girl Teenisha?
I Heard She Ripped You A New One.
[ Sighs ]
What, You Want Me To Go Hit Girls Now?
No, I Don't Want You To Hit A Girl.
What About The Game At The End Of The Week?
I Mean, I Could Sprain A Finger. Did You Ever Think Of That, Dad?
I Mean, Be Realistic.
Where Are You Going?
[ Scoffs ]
To Do Something Manly.
I Don't Know. I'm Gonna...Play With My Jock.
Give Me A Break.
I'm Sorry. I'm Just A Little Concerned.
Can't A Father Be Concerned About His Son?
Whatever.
[ Basketball Bouncing ]
Look, This Is The Mother Of All Games.
If We Win This, This Means The Playoffs.
Do You Know What Playoffs Mean?
Playoffs Mean That Colleges Will Have Their Eyes On Me,
As Should You Right Now.
So I Can't Have You Acting...
Y-You Know, The -- The Way That You Act.
Coach Won't Even Have Me Starting.
So I'm Just Going To Teach You Some Of The Abcs Of Basketball
To Get Us Through Our Little Problem Here.
Yeah?
Bend Your Knees.
So, Try And Remember That When You Pass A Basketball,
You Pass It Hard And Fast
So That Your Opponent Cannot Steal It.
Okay. Pass It.
Okay, Look.
I'm Trying To Teach You Some Of The Basics Here
So That You Don't Make A Fool Out Of Me.
Pass The Ball.
Pass It. Come On.
All Right.
Okay. Lucky Catch.
Well, What If I Want To Make, I Don't Know, A Crosscourt Pass.
Listen, My Friend, Don't Get Cocky
Just Because You Catch One Ball.
Ow.
Are You Okay? I'm Sorry.
It's Kind Of Rough Being Me, Isn't It?
You Get Distracted And You Forget Things,
Kind Of Klutzy.
It's The A.D.D. -- You Get Used To It.
Yeah. Great.
You're Bleeding.
[ Sighs ]
It's Just A Little Blood.
Hey, How Did You Learn How To Pass That Ball Like That Anyway?
Me And My Dad Used To Play All The Time, But...
Oh.
So At Least You Know The Basics.
[ Sighs ]
How The Hell Did This Happen Anyway?
I Did Some Research, And I Did Some Digging,
And Then It Hit Me.
The Beetle.
A Bug? That's Your Theory?
Mm-Hmm.
Okay, The Beetle Bit You, Right?
Right.
And The Beetle Bit Me, Right?
Yeah.
So I Talked To Mr. Zucker.
And Mr. Zucker Says The Namibian Elephant Beetle
Has The Magic Ability To Steal People's Souls.
Whoo-Oo!
What's With The "Whoo"?
I Don't Know. I Kind Of Like It. I Think It's Catchy.
So It's Like When A Bee Lands On A Flower
And Takes The Pollen.
So Wait A Minute.
You Mean To Tell Me
That If We Find This Nambibian-- Bibian Elephant Beetle,
That We Can Switch Back To Normal?
Kind Of.
Oh!
Uh, It's Sort Of A Rare Insect.
How Rare?
I Got Mine On Ebay, And You Can't Buy Them In North America.
So, Look, We -- We Find The Beetle, And Then We -- We...
Then?
We Make It Bite Us Or -- Or Lick Us Or Something.
[ Claps Hands ] We Got To Find That Bug!
Well, The Last Place We Saw It Was In The Gym --
Big Gym, Little Bug.
I Mean, It Could Be Gone Already.
Okay. So Then We Just Use Another Bug.
I Don't Think So.
"I Don't Think So"?
Why Are You Being A Jerk?
Let Me See.
How Do I Put This?
I Can't Be You For The Rest Of My Life, Okay?
I Want My Life Back. I Want My Body Back.
I Kind Of Like Your Body.
Tough! Tough!
I've Had That Body For 17 Years, Okay?
I'm Kind Of -- Kind Of Used To It.
Chill.
Okay, I Made Some Phone Calls, And I Found A Witch Doctor.
What?
Wh-- Where Did You Find A Witch Doctor?
The Yellow Pages. Do You Want To Come With Me?
Yeah. Like, Now.
Well, He's A Doctor. You Can't Just Walk In. He's Busy.
You Have To Make An Appointment. So I Made One For Tomorrow.
Tomor-- Tomorrow?
Tomorrow Our Bug Will Be Somewhere, And -- And --
You Make It Sound Like We've Been Doing This For A Year.
It's Only Been A Day.
I Don't Do The Makeup Thing, I-I Don't Do The Hair Thing,
And This Bra Stuff...
Well, I Mean, I Don't Even Wear A Lot Of Makeup.
And, Hey, Be Positive.
You Know, I Thought -- I Thought I Was The One
Who Was Always Negative.
It's 9:00, And I'm Exhausted.
Do You Know That It Is Really Exhausting Being You?
Yeah. I Forgot To Tell You, I Get Really Tired.
Damn It.
What?
It's Bruce's Party Tonight.
Party?
Yeah.
Right Down The Street?
So?
Well...
I Mean, I Could Go.
You Know What?
I'm Too Tired To Argue.
♪ Just Throwin' A Party With My Friends ♪
[ Chanting ] Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
Bruce: Whoo-Hoo!
Latrelle: Yeah!
Whoo!
Yeah! Yeah!
Hey, I Thought You Didn't Drink.
Sometimes We Just Have To Celebrate.
What Are You Celebrating Now?
The New Me!
You Sure Look Like The Old One.
Seconds?
So, How Many Girlfriends Does Pete Have Now?
Word Is He Drove That Girl Home Again Today.
I Thought You Had A Tighter Leash Than That, Hillary.
♪ And We're Tight Now ♪
♪ Like A Pack Of Dogs With Another Song To Play ♪
Please.
When I Lose Control Of A Man
To Toe Jam Like That Four-Eyed Freak,
You May Open Your Mouth.
Until Then, Keep It Shut.
Or...Did You Want Me To Flirt With Your Precious Kevin?
Any Guy...Any Time... Right Here.
Besides...Little Miss Bug Eyes Will Get Hers.
I'll Make Sure Of That.
♪ You're Trying To Do Right ♪
♪ Tomorrow You'll Have To Scrape Yourself... ♪
All: [ Chanting ] Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
Get Out! Guys, Cops, Cops, Cops! Get Out! Come On!
[ Indistinct Shouting ]
Go! Now! Get Out! Get Out!
Come On! Come On!
[ Insects Chirping ]
Get Down.
What Did You Do That For?
Shh!
Man: I Think We're About Done Right Now.
Man, I Could Sure Use A Doughnut.
Buddy, One Thing You Don't Need Is A Doughnut.
More Like An Atkins Bar.
Shh. I Think I Hear Something.
It's Probably My Stomach.
I Told You I Was Hungry.
One More Call, And We're Done For This Month.
Stay Down On The Ground Like Me.
What Are You Doing On The Ground?
You Got To Think Like A Bug.
[ Screams ]
Shh!
Sure You Don't Hear Something?
That Was Like A Girl.
Nothing.
I Think That Weird Chick Has Been Contaminating Your Brain.
I Think That The Guys On The Basketball Team
Would Be Very Interested To Know
That...Dan... Screams Like A Girl.
[ Chuckles ]
♪ Dan Screams Like A Girl ♪
[ Chuckles ] Come On.
You're Not Gonna Say Anything, Really?
Well...How About This?
If You Agree To Stop Picking On Teenisha...
[ Scoffs ]
...I Won't Tell The Guys On The Team.
And I Think An Apology Might Help.
What?!
Do You Have The Hots For Her?
Ugh.
You Got Some Strange Taste, Man.
We're Just Friends.
Sure.
Whatever.
Okay. Look.
You Want To Know -- You Want To Know Something?
What?
I Think...
I Shouldn't Tell You.
Oh, Come On.
No.
You're Being Such A Girl. Come On.
Just Babbling Away.
[ Groans ]
I'm Bored Of This.
Okay, Okay.
Look, You're Not Gonna Say Anything, Right?
Now, What? What?
I Think Teenisha Is Sort Of Hot.
[ Chuckles ]
Are You Putting Me On?
No.
I Do.
I Mean, If She Took Off Those Thick Glasses
And...Smiled A Little
Or Put -- Put Back Her Hair Or Something,
I Mean, She Could Be Attractive.
Well...I Happen To Know For A Fact
That She Might Be Interested In You, Too.
Yeah?
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, 'Cause I Know --
I Know Girls Love It When You Push Their Books On The Floor
And Call Them A Loser.
Oh.
You Know, It's Just Part Of The Game.
What Game?
You Know, You Wouldn't Understand, All Right?
Mr. -- Oh, Mr. 6'3", Six-Pack All-Star.
Look At Me.
I'm 5-Foot Nothing, 100 And Nothing.
[ Sighs ]
Do You Know How Hard It Is For Me To Get Girls?
I-I Shouldn't Even --
I Shouldn't Even Be At This Party.
I Shouldn't Even Be In The Cool Crowd.
What -- What Makes Me Cool? My Golden Locks?
No, I Pick On Other People. All Right?
And I'm Okay With That.
That's The Cards I Was Dealt, All Right?
And I'm Just Playing The Game.
Wait. Wait, Wait, Wait, Wait.
You're Telling Me You Pick On People
Because You Think It Makes You Look Cooler?
Dude, That's The Stupidest Thing I Ever Heard.
I Don't Want To Pick On Teenisha.
I Have To.
You Don't.
I Don't Want To Talk About It Anymore, Okay?
No.
No, I'm Done.
Dan, I Want To Talk About This More.
I'm Done. Forget It.
I Don't Want To Forget It. I Want To Keep Talking About It.
Look, I Think We're In The Clear Now, Okay?
Let's Go.
No. Where -- Where...
Where Are You Going?
[ Birds Chirping, Dog Barking In Distance ]
Felix: Jill!
Jill!
What? What?
Look At This Room.
[ Sighs ]
I Thought You Said You Weren't Going To Clean It Anymore.
I Didn't.
[ Gasps ]
Oh.
What Are You Looking For?
Maybe She Finally Started Taking Her Medicine.
You Know That This Stuff -- It Can Do Wonders.
It's Full.
[ Sighs ] This Is Strange.
First The White Castle And Now This.
She Even Made It To The School Bus.
Her Papers Were Organized.
Where Did Our Daughter Go?
[ Alarm Blaring ]
[ Alarm Stops ]
Where Am I?
In Trouble.
What The Hell Were You Thinking?
Oh, I Have A Splitting Headache.
Well, It's Jogging Time. Let's Go.
I Said I Have A Headache.
I'm Not Stupid, Son.
I Know What You Were Doing Last Night.
[ Sighs ] That's Good,
'Cause It's All Kind Of Blurry To Me.
[ Moans ]
Take A Shower And Get A Cup Of Coffee.
Just Because You Screw Up Doesn't Mean You'll Miss School.
Five More Minutes. Thank You.
[ Whistle Blowing ]
Oh!
Okay, I'm Getting Up. I'm Getting Up.
God! No More Whistle.
You Carry A Whistle?
Downstairs In Five Minutes!
No Son Of Mine Is Gonna Be A Loser.
Jerk.
What Did You Say?
Nothing. Nothing.
Five Minutes.
[ Sighs ] Oh, Sure. Five Minutes. Okay.
Aw. Gross.
Down, Boy.
Ugh.
[ Water Running ]
[ Exhales Deeply ]
♪ What Would You Say If Yesterday ♪
♪ You And Me, We Went Away? ♪
♪ Made Out The Day And Crossed The Line ♪
♪ So Easily, We're Back In Time ♪
♪ Slid Back Into Our Memory ♪
♪ Of Afternoons ♪
♪ Up In Our Room, The Shades Are Drawn ♪
♪ But Who Can Say Those Times Are Gone Away? ♪
♪ I Love You ♪
♪ All The Way From Yesterday ♪
♪ Far Away Is Your Way ♪
♪ Do You Love Me? ♪
♪ Now Tomorrow, Like I Say, Yesterday ♪
[ Whimpers ]
Ms. Harper: Teenisha?
Teenisha!
[ Birds Chirping ]
Teenisha?
Teenisha!
What, Huh? What?
We're So Glad You Could Join Us.
The Answer Is?
Teenisha?
Oh, Um, I'm Sorry, I-I Didn't Hear The Question.
Anybody Else Here Know The Answer?
[ Indistinct Conversations ]
Hillary: Teenisha.
Yeah?
Why Don't You Join Us?
Uh, Sure.
No Hard Feelings About Yesterday?
Yeah.
Sure.
You Know, Girls, Tonight After The Game,
The Plan Is To Go To The Lake For An All-Nighter,
Show The Boys On The Team A Good Time,
If You Know What I Mean.
What Do You Mean?
Well... Use Your Imagination.
Why Don't You Come With, Teenisha?
Do You Have Someone You Can Bring?
Uh...
My Boyfriend, Pete,
He Tends To Prefer A Girl With...Experience.
[ Sighs ]
And If He's A Good Boy...
He'll Get Quite An Experience This Evening.
[ Sighs ]
We Need To Talk -- Now.
Not Now. I Am Busy.
Now!
Or Else There's Gonna Be A Major Accident At Your House.
[ Sighs ] I'll Deal With The Nerd.
What Are You Doing? You're Gonna Blow Our Cover.
Me? Blow Our Cover? Give Me A Break.
What Time Was Our Appointment With The Witch Doctor?
3:00. Why?
Any Chance We Could Make That Sooner?
Why?
Because I Have A Girlfriend. That's Why.
Hillary? Are You Guys Still Together?
Of Course We're Still To--
What Did You Do?!
Nothing.
I Swear To God, If You Did Something,
If You Ruin This For Me --
Well, She's Not Really Your Type.
What Do You Mean, She's Not My Type?
Look At Her! She's Everybody's Type.
Oh, I've Been Waiting A Long Time
For Something Like This To Happen,
And I'm Not Just Talking About The Game.
[ Sighs ]
Oh, Man.
Look At That Body.
I Don't Know What You Want Me To Do.
I'm Not Gay.
3:00. Don't Be Late!
[ Indistinct Conversations ]
Hey.
Why Don't You Come Sit Over Here?
A-Are You Talking To Me?
Who Else?
Thanks.
Come On. Guys.
Tell Me...How's Your Science Project Coming Along?
You Follow The Science Fair?
Sure.
Why Wouldn't We?
What Do You Think, We're A Bunch Of Stupid Basketball Players
Or Something, Huh?
No. No. I'm Not Saying That, No.
No, He Didn't Say That. All Right? Back Off.
I Heard Adam Screwed Up His Hand And Car Real Bad Last Night
Driving Home From The Party.
Can You Believe That Schmuck Drove?
He Doesn't Play, We Are Definitely Screwed.
Then I Could Just Pass To Dan.
All Right. You Know, I Heard Of Trying To Lose.
But That Is Ridiculous.
[ Laughter ]
Maybe John Could Play For Us.
Uh, Really?
Sure. Why Not?
[ Chuckles ] You're Just Busting On Me.
No, Seriously.
Come To The Basketball Court After School.
I'll Introduce You To The Coach.
Well, My Mom Did Say That I'm Pretty Good At Lay-Ups.
Just Be There.
[ Chuckles ]
Hey, Uh, John, You Got Some Ink On Your Hand.
Might Want To Clean That Up Before You Eat.
Okay. Thanks.
All Right. Watch This.
What Are You Doing?
Oh, You're Not --
You're Not Doing What I Think You're Doing, Are You?
Worse.
Ew.
Much Worse.
Ugh!
Oh, This Is The Good Part.
[ Laughter ]
Hurry Up. He's Coming. He's Coming.
Shh, Shh, Shh.
Oh.
[ Chuckles ]
Stop.
I See Some Mold On Your Bread.
Here.
Take Mine.
His Is Pb&J.
Funny. So Is Mine.
I'm Gonna Run To The Bathroom.
Yeah, Good Idea.
Run.
[ Footsteps Approaching ]
What Happened There?
I Don't Know.
Maybe It Was Something You Said Last Night.
You Know, I Really Do Prefer Doing This Standing Up.
[ Gasps ]
What Is Your Problem?
My Back's A Bit Of A Problem Now.
I'm Serious.
I'm Dan.
Can't Say It's Nice To Meet You.
I'm Gonna Kill This Little Comedian.
Wait Till I Finish My Act. Gets Better.
Wait, Wait, Wait, Wait, Wait! Listen. Remember, Adam's Out.
We Need Him For The Game.
So We Can Use The Nerd.
At Least He Can Make One In Every 10 Lay-Ups.
Well, Then Wait Till After The Game.
You're Lucky Your Buddy Saved You...For Now.
[ Sighs ]
[ Breathing Heavily ]
Thanks For The Stay Of Execution.
Once The Game Is Over, He'll Forget All About This.
[ Sighs ]
Boys.
[ Marker Squeaking On Whiteboard ]
Do I Know You?
Well... We Have A Mutual Friend.
Uh, She Sent Me. She's...Having A Problem.
You Have Ink On You.
Wait A Minute.
You're The Center For Our Basketball Team.
Yeah. Oh, I Am. Yeah.
So, Who's The Mutual Friend?
Teenisha Flowers.
Ah, Yes.
She Does Have A Problem.
I'll Tell You, She's A Sweet Girl,
But You've Got To Have A Hell Of A Lot Of Patience.
What Do You Mean?
Like I Said, She's A Sweet Girl, But...
But What?
You Know, She's A Bit...Dizzy.
I Know She Can't Help Herself, But...
S-She's Not Your Girlfriend, Is She?
No.
I Didn't Think So.
You Know What, Mr. Zucker? You're Right About One Thing.
She Can't Help It.
[ Sighs ]
And To Think... She Thought You Were Her Friend.
Boy, He Sure Is Sensitive For A Jock.
I Didn't Call You Retarded.
Teenisha: I Heard You.
I've Been Talking To You For The Past 20 Minutes.
I Heard Everything, And It's My Practice.
Don't Get Used To My Body.
Even If I Could Send You Back, Why Should I?
What Do You Mean, Why Should You?
[ Tires Screech ]
What Did You Do That For?
What? [ Stammers ]
Give Me One Good Reason Why I Should Want To Go Back.
Yeah -- I Could Name Hundreds.
Then One Shouldn't Be Difficult.
[ Stammering ]
Okay. Look. For One, This Is Your Body.
I'm Fat.
Not Really Fat.
Go On.
You -- You -- You Will Miss Hanging Out With Your Friends.
Be Serious, Please.
I Don't Know. I --
Exactly! You Don't Know!
You Don't Know What It's Like To Be Made Fun Of.
[ Sighs ]
You Don't Know What It's Like
To Have Your Books Slammed Out Of Your Hands,
And You Don't Know What It's Like
To Have People Laugh And Stare At You Every Day.
You Don't Know.
I Like Being Popular.
I Like Being On A Team.
I Like Having Friends, Even Your Jerky Friends.
I Like Being Strong And Being Able To Concentrate,
Not Having To Wear Those Stupid Glasses.
I Like Being Peter.
And I Love Not Being Me.
Bugs.
Bugs?
Yeah, Bugs.
All Right. Look At This. Look At This.
Most People, They Go Through Life
Never Really Noticing The Little Things, Yeah?
But You -- Huh? -- You --
You Really Appreciate These Things
That People Would Normally Ignore.
Huh?
[ Chuckles ]
What A Wonderful Reason To Go On Living.
Okay. Well, Look. You Asked Me To Give You One Reason.
Well, That Doesn't Count.
Yes, It Does. Now, Look.
We Agreed To Go To The Witch Doctor, And We're Going!
Now, Move It!
[ Click ]
[ Bell Jingles ]
[ African Accent ] Welcome.
[ Both Gasp ]
[ Chanting In Native Language ]
You -- You Are In Search Of The Cure
For The Namibian Elephant-Beetle Curse.
Whoa. How Did You Know That?
He Called Me.
[ Laughing ]
You're Early.
Well, Look, It's An Emergency.
I See, Pete -- I Mean Teenisha.
I Mean Pete. Oh, It's Very Confusing.
Anyway, The Namibian Elephant Beetle
Is Very, Very Tricky And Very, Very Powerful.
That Beetle Has The Power To Steal A Man's Soul
And To Switch It Into Another Man's Body.
Whoo-Oo-Oo-Oo.
Dude, What's With The "Whoo"?
Oh, I Just Like The Way That Sounds.
[ Laughs ]
Anyway, If You Two Want To Get Your Souls Back
And Switched Into The Right Bodies,
You Must Find That Beetle.
But You Must Be Quick, For The Beetle's Power Is Fading
And Will Be Totally Gone By The End Of The Full-Moon Cycle.
Well...When Does The Full-Moon Cycle End?
Tonight.
[ Laughs ]
Tonight?
Yes.
Well, How Do You Know That?
I Watch The Weather Channel. [ Laughs ]
Is There Any Other Way?
There Is One Other Way.
But It Will Be Too Hard To Do.
I Mean, You Have To Get The Tribesmen
And The Chanting Going,
And Then You Have To Have A Great, Great Sacrifice.
Well, Look, Scratch That.
I'm Not Getting Sacrificed. Let's Go.
Wait. You Must Not Leave.
Why?
You Haven't Paid Your Bill. [ Laughs ]
No, Seriously, You Haven't Paid Your Bill.
Come On. We Got To Do This.
It's 3:30, And Game Time Is At 8:00.
The Moon Will Be Out All Night. We Still Have Time.
No. Listen To Me.
Listen To Me Very, Very Carefully.
If I Don't Find That Beetle, I Will Kill Myself.
You're Being Very Dramatic.
I Swear To God That If I Don't Find That Bug,
My Life And Everything That I've Ever Worked For
Will Be Completely Over.
[ Engine Turns Over ]
Consider It Over.
[ Engine Turns Over ]
[ Engine Revs ]
[ Sighs ] It's Not Here.
It's Just Not Here.
Well, We Still Have An Hour Till The Game.
Keep Looking.
It's Gone.
It's Probably Dead, Like Me.
There's Still Plenty Of Time.
Uh...A-And Afterwards, We Can Still Look For The Beetle, Too.
I-I Could Play.
No. Unh-Unh.
I'm Supposed To Play -- Me! This Is My Time!
All That -- That Hard Work For Years For What?
For Nothing? For Nothing?!
Getting Up At 5:00 A.M. Every Day To Work Out.
All The Sweat, All The Training,
My Dad Being On My Back Every Day And Every Night!
And Never, Ever, Not Once, Even Being Good Enough For Him.
Unh-Unh.
This Was My Chance To Make It All Worth It,
And It's Over.
Maybe You Could Be Surprised.
I'm Really Not That Bad Now.
You?
You're The One Who Got Us Into This Mess In The First Place.
Me?!
[ Scoffs ]
You Think I Planned All Of This?!
You Know What?
Maybe You Did, Huh?
I Mean, Who The Hell Would Want To Be Teenisha Flowers Anyway?
Huh? Huh? Huh?
And Why Did You Even Bring That Goddamn Bug Into My Car?!
You Did It.
Maybe Everybody Is Right.
Maybe You Are Just This -- This Freak.
I Wish I Never Even Met You.
[ Sobs ]
[ Sniffles ]
At Least We Had Some Break.
I Just Can't See Why You Can't Get Her To Take Her Medicine.
I Can't Force Her To Take It. She's A Teenager Now.
But It Makes Her Normal.
Sometimes It Makes Her Normal,
But Sometimes It Makes Her Feel Like A Zombie.
We'll Talk Later.
[ Footsteps Departing ]
Hipkins: I'm Not Gonna Lie To You Guys.
And I'm Not Gonna Lie To Myself.
Okay?
Nobody Expects Us To Win This Game Anymore -- Nobody.
I Don't Expect Us To Win.
I'm Sure You Guys Don't Expect Us To Win.
But There's No Reason For Us To Get Slaughtered.
Yeah, There Is. We Have Dan As A Guard.
But, Uh, You Know, We'll Just Go Out There
And, Uh, We'll Have A Moral Victory Today, Okay?
Moral Victory.
Yeah, Not As Good As A Regular Victory.
Doesn't Look Good On A Job Résumé
If You're Applying For A Coaching Position
At A Junior College That You Always Wanted
But They Don't Give You A Chance.
But, Uh, You Know, Hey, We'll Just Go Out There Today
And, Uh -- You Guys, Just Go Out There
And Don't Get Hurt
And Try Your Best And, Uh, Have Some Fun, Okay?
And All That Bullshit.
Hey, Look, I Know What You're Thinking, Okay?
I'm Sorry. I Messed Up, All Right?
I Shouldn't Have -- I Shouldn't Have Tossed Adam.
I Know That. I Can't Go Back In Time.
You Guys Got A Time Machine? Who's Got It?
You Got The Keys? I'll Get In Right Now.
No? Okay.
I Screwed Up.
[ Door Opens ]
To Be Honest, I Wish He Was Here.
[ Door Closes ]
Well, Yeah, I Didn't Think You'd Really Kick Me Off The Team
Just Because Of Some Stupid Girl.
Well...Will You Play?
Well, Yeah. What Do You Think I'm Here For?
All Right, Guys! Come On!
Let's Get Out There!
Play Ball! Let's Go! Come On! All Right!
Hey! Hey, Pete, Come On!
Time To Shine, Buddy!
Let's Go! Let's Get Out There!
We Got Scouts In The House Looking At You.
Come On! Here We Go!
All Right, Guys! Let's Go!
[ Whistle Blows ]
♪ I Think That You're Insane ♪
♪ Pretending Nothing's Changed ♪
♪ Why Don't You See The Light? ♪
♪ Just Get Out Of My Sight ♪
♪ Won't Call You Wonderful ♪
♪ You Can't Be Agreeable ♪
♪ I Never Led You On ♪
♪ You Just Got It All Wrong ♪
♪ Yeah, And I Don't Want To Be Your Friend ♪
♪ I Don't Want To Be Your Friend ♪
♪ Oh, No, Oh, No ♪
♪ You Try To Talk To Me ♪
♪ Don't Know How You Can't See ♪
♪ I Have Nothing To Say ♪
♪ But You Won't Go Away ♪
♪ You Think You're Just Like Me ♪
♪ But That's Insanity ♪
♪ You Just Want To Hang Around ♪
[ Crowd Cheering ]
[ Buzzer Sounds ]
[ Crowd Booing ]
What The Hell Is The Matter With You?
You're Acting Like You Never Held
A Freakin' Basketball Before.
Okay. I'm Sorry, Guys.
I'm Just -- I'm Really Not Feeling Like Myself.
You Want To Sit?
No, I'm Fine. Come On, Guys. Come On.
1, 2, 3.
Break!
♪ I Think That You're Insane ♪
♪ Pretending Nothing's Changed ♪
♪ Why Don't You See The Light? ♪
♪ Just Get Out Of My Sight ♪
♪ Won't Call You Wonderful ♪
♪ You Can't Be Agreeable ♪
♪ I Never Led You On ♪
♪ You Just Got It All Wrong ♪
♪ Yeah, And I Don't Want To Be Your Friend ♪
♪ I Don't Want To Be Your Friend ♪
♪ Oh, No, Oh, No, No ♪
[ Buzzer Sounds ]
[ Crowd Booing ]
Dan, This Isn't The Jerry Lewis Telethon Out There.
Shut Up.
I Was Wide Open.
[ Booing Continues ]
All Right, Maybe I Wasn't Wide Open,
But I Could Have Gotten It.
Bro, What Are You Doing? Are You Trying To Blow Your Ride?
No, I -- Guys, Let's Just Do That Again, Okay?
Are You Crazy?
No, But We Got To Do The Unexpected.
Unexpected? You Call Losing Unexpected?
He's Right. Give Someone Else The Ball.
Listen To Your Teammates.
All Right.
Ready? Everyone.
1, 2, 3.
All: Break!
♪ I Think That You're Insane ♪
♪ Pretending Nothing's Changed ♪
♪ Why Don't You See The... ♪
[ Crowd Gasps, Buzzer Sounds ]
Oh!
[ Gasps ]
Oh. I'm Sorry.
Was He A Relative Of Yours?
Consider Your Life Over As You Know It.
No Big Loss...Loser.
Hey. Hey! Hey.
What The Hell Is The Matter With You?
Did You Forget How To Dribble A Ball?
You're Embarrassing Yourself. You're Embarrassing Your Team.
You Got To Pull It Together, Young Man.
Teenisha: Hey!
Give The Kid A Break!
He's Bleeding, For Crying Out Loud!
I Told You She Was Weird.
Look At Him. He's Cut Up.
I Mean, What Does He Have To Do?
What, Does He Have To Die For You To Be Proud Of Him?
I'm Proud Of Him.
You Sure Have A Funny Way Of Showing It.
Geez. Get Off His Back For Once.
Hipkins: What The Hell Is Going On?!
What Was That Out There?!
We Did Not Practice That!
That Is Not Ram Basketball!
That's Zombie Basketball!
You Guys Must Have All Transferred To Zombie High
Over The Weekend!
Okay? You Know What?!
I Don't Want To Coach At Zombie High!
I Want To Coach The Rams!
Where'd They Go? What's Going On With Them?
What, You Guys Didn't Have Your Wheaties This Morning?
Hey! Hey.
Is It Your Time Of The Month? Is It?
'Cause You Guys Are All Playing Like Girls!
Anybody Remember How To Play Basketball?
Basketball? Anyone? Show Of Hands?
Basketball!
B-A-S-K-E-B...
It's Not A Spelling Contest! It's A Game!
And You Guys Have All Forgotten How To Play It!
Psst.
Who Said That? Who Said "Psst"?
Can I Help You?!
Um, I Need To Talk To Pete.
You Need To Talk To Pete. You Know What? Take Him!
Please. Let's Go!
Take Him Now!
Come On! Get Him Out Of My Sight!
Hustle It Up!
You Guys, Zombie Crew, What's Gonna Happen Now, Huh?
Hey.
How's Your Eye?
Oh, It's Fine.
Um...
Um, I'm -- I'm Sorry.
It'll Heal.
No. I Mean About Before.
I Was Angry, And I Said Some Things, And...
I Was Pretty Much A Jerk.
And, Um, I Took It Out On You, And I'm Sorry, Teenisha.
Yeah.
Well...
Sorry About The Game.
[ Sighs ]
I Really Thought I Could Handle It Tonight.
No. You Did A Pretty Good Job.
I Think You Probably Did Better Than I Would.
I Just Feel Like... I Ruined Everything,
Lost Your Big Chance.
No, You Didn't.
So What About The Big Game? Pbbt!
At Least I Got A Chance To Spend More Time With You.
I Was So Selfish.
You Know, I Really, Really Liked Being You.
But Now I Would Sacrifice Everything.
You Know, I'd Give It All Up If I Could Just...
Make Things Right For You.
I Know You Would.
[ Thunder Crashes ]
[ Echoing ] You Have To Get The Tribesmen
And The Chanting Going.
[ Distorted ] ...Steal Your Soul.
[ Echoing ] Sacrifice.
Sacrifice Everything.
[ Thunder Crashes ]
[ Whistle Blows ]
[ As Pete ] Whoa.
[ Gasps ]
Oh, That Was Quite A Kiss.
Whew.
Hipkins: [ Clears Throat ]
Excuse Me.
Would You Like Us To Leave?
[ As Teenisha ] All Right. Listen.
They're Strong Underneath The Basket,
And You've Got To Go For 3-Pointers.
Got It. Wish Me Luck.
Actually, I Would Like You To Leave.
All Right, Guys. We're 14 Points Behind.
But We Can Still Win This Game.
We Got To Start Taking 3-Pointers From The Outside.
Tom, Mike, I'm Gonna Need You Up Top.
Latrelle, Tyler, I Need You Guys At The Bottom.
We're 86-Ing The Zone Defense. We're Going Man-To-Man.
You Got That?
Well, Man-To-Man Might Be A Little Tough For Dan Here.
Shut Up.
Adam, If I Hear You Make Fun Of One Of My Friends
In Front Of Me One More Time, So Help Me God,
I'm Gonna Throw You A Beating In Front Of The Entire School.
You Got That?
All Right, Guys,
You Guys Can Stay Down Here And Sulk And Lose,
But If You Want To Win, I'm Gonna Be Upstairs.
Well, You Heard Him. Come On! Let's Get Going!
Get Out There!
[ Team Cheers ]
[ Whistle Blows ]
♪ I Think That You're Insane ♪
♪ Pretending Nothing's Changed ♪
♪ Why Don't You See The Light? ♪
♪ Just Get Out Of My Sight ♪
♪ Won't Call You Wonderful ♪
♪ You Can't Be Agreeable ♪
♪ I Never Led You On ♪
♪ You Just Got It All Wrong ♪
♪ Yeah, And I Don't Want To Be Your Friend ♪
♪ I Don't Want To Be Your Friend ♪
♪ Oh, No, Oh, No ♪
[ Crowd Cheering ]
♪ You Try To Talk To Me ♪
♪ Don't Know How You Can't See ♪
♪ I Have Nothing To Say ♪
♪ But You Won't Go Away ♪
♪ You Think You're Just Like Me ♪
♪ But That's Insanity ♪
♪ You Want To Hang Around ♪
♪ You Really Bring Me Down ♪
♪ And I Don't Want To Be Your Friend ♪
♪ I Don't Want To Be Your Friend ♪
♪ Oh, No, Oh, No ♪
♪ I Got Your Letter, And I Threw It Away ♪
♪ But You Still Think I Read It Anyway ♪
♪ I Don't Want To Be Your Friend ♪
♪ Oh, No, Oh, No ♪
[ Buzzer Sounds ]
[ Crowd Groans ]
[ Squawking ]
Hillary: I Can't Decide
If The Other Cheerleaders Make Me Look Thinner
Or If I Just Make Them Look Fatter.
[ Door Closes ]
Nice Shot, Loser.
Thanks.
You Played Like A Freak The First Half.
Why Would You Do Something Like That?
What?
The Bug?
I Was Scared, Honey.
A Big, Scary Bug Was Coming Right For Me,
And You Weren't There To Protect Me.
[ Sighs ]
You Never Appreciate The Little Things.
Hmm?
Honey, I Thought About What You Said The Other Day.
What Did I Say?
Silly, The Little Brain Lapse You Had
About Rethinking Our Relationship.
Did I?
I Know Your Mind Was Somewhere Else.
Well, I've Decided To Forgive You.
But...You Have To Behave From Now On.
No More Teenisha.
I Mean It.
I Don't Even Want To Hear Her Name.
Is That Understood?
That's A Good Idea.
I Knew You'd Come To Your Senses.
Rethinking Our Relationship.
Oh. I Just Rethought It.
[ Grunts ]
[ Basketball Thuds, Bounces ]
Rough Night?
[ Scoffs ]
Tell Me About It.
It Happens.
I'm Sorry.
It's Just A Game.
Don't Be Too Late.
[ Door Opens ]
[ Door Closes ]
Hey.
What Are You Guys Doing Here?
We Got Your Note About Picking You Up.
My Note?
Oh. Right.
You Okay?
Look, Whatever Has Been Going On Between You And This Boy...
...Well, Time Heals All Wounds.
Yeah.
Look. Come On. Jill Has Dinner Waiting For Us.
Thanks, Jill.
You're Welcome.
[ Door Opens ]
You Leaving?
Doesn't Your Girlfriend Need A Ride?
You!
[ Gasps ]
How Dare You!
I Don't Know What Kind Of Game You Think You're Playing!
I Don't Know What Kind Of Spell You Put Him Under
To Break Up With Me, But I Am Going To Find Out!
I'm Hillary, Understand?!
Hillary!
I Don't Get Dumped!
I Am The Dumper!
Is This The Happy Couple? Is This Who You Dumped Me For?!
It Is.
Without Me,
You'll Be A Nobody So Fast, It'll Make Your Head Spin!
You'll Be At The Losers' Lunch Table
By The End Of The Week, You Lame-O Loser!
Don't Talk To Him That Way.
Who The Hell Do You Think You Are, Huh?
Oh, You Think That Just Because You Make Fun Of People
That That Makes You Better Than Them?
Who Are You?
"Oh, I'm Hillary." No!
Somebody Should Teach You A Lesson.
And If You Talk To My Boyfriend Like That Again,
Somebody Will.
Got That...Loser?
[ Bug Chomps ]
[ Screaming ]
Wow.
Um...Wow.
Well, Uh, Clint Eastwood, Are You Ready To Come With Us?
Felix, When A Girl Has A Choice
Between Getting A Ride From A Handsome Young Man
Or From Her Father,
Which One Do You Think She Would Choose?
All Right.
I Can Take A Hint.
We'll See You Later.
Okay. Good Night, Guys.
[ Door Opens, Closes ]
Very Impressive.
[ Sighs ]
So, You Broke Up With Her, Huh?
Well, I Had To Rethink Our Relationship.
Really?
Mm-Hmm.
You Know,
I Think That I Remember Hearing That Line From Somewhere.
Really?
Hmm. [ Chuckles ] Yeah.
How About That?
So, Does That Mean That I'm Your Rebound Girl?
Uh, Maybe.
[ Chuckles ]
I Don't Think That It's Gonna Work.
Now, Why Would You Say Something Like That?
Because You So Can't Remember.
You're So Weird.
I Know.
That's Why You Like Me.
That's Why I Like You.
[ Laughs, Snorts ]
♪ I'll Follow You Anywhere, Baby ♪
♪ Even Down The Road Less Familiar ♪
♪ I'll Follow You Anywhere, Baby ♪
♪ Anything Just To Be Near You ♪
♪ You Make Me High ♪
♪ I'll Be Your Soul Mate, Baby ♪
♪ I'm Gonna Do So Much For You ♪
♪ I'll Be Your Soul Mate, Baby ♪
♪ There Ain't Nothing I Won't Do ♪
♪ 'Cause You Make Me High ♪
♪ You Make Me High ♪
♪ As The Tree Bends, As The River Runs ♪
♪ As You And I Succumb ♪
♪ Sky Chokes My Words, Makes All Absurd ♪
♪ Say No Words But Love ♪
♪ You Make Me High ♪
♪ I'll Be Your Soul Mate, Baby ♪
♪ You Make Me High ♪
♪ I'll Be Your Soul Mate, Baby ♪
♪ You Make Me High ♪
♪ You Make Me ♪
[ Doorbell Rings ]